Dating Your Husband


DATING MY HUSBAND By Laraine Newman It seems like most of our married life with kids, my husband, Chad, and I reenacted episodes of Prison Break every time we wanted to go on a date. Sometimes we’d wait until our girls were asleep before we left them with the babysitter and scaled the walls, praying … [Read more…]

Children of the Corn


Children of the Corn By Laraine Newman Lewis Black, a very funny fella, does a great bit about Halloween on his Carnegie Hall CD.   I heard it when it was released several years ago and laughed right along with him until he took a turn that had me screeching to an emotional halt. He started … [Read more…]

I Love Horror


I Love Horror By Laraine Newman   When my brother and I were 4 1/2 we were taken to see a movie called X-76 Bloodrust. I can’t find a single living soul who has ever heard of this movie. Not even John Landis.  What I gleaned about the plot, which was observed through a space … [Read more…]

Dreidels Anonymous


Dreidels Anonymous By: Laraine Newman I was recently roped I…I mean asked to participate in Canter’s Chanters Chanukah Extravaganza at my Temple.  When it was first presented to me, I thought, ‘Great, our Canter is a cool guy and is probably open to doing some improv or something with the kids. That’s got to be … [Read more…]

Prodigal Latke


Prodigal Latke By Laraine Newman I’m a California Jew. If one were to compare ethnicity in terms of packaging, we’d be ‘plain wrap’. Both my folks were Jewish, but Mom was an Atheist and Dad, well,  he grew up in the little town of Chloride Arizona and  Grandpa Harry was the Sheriff.  Once, when I … [Read more…]

New Year’s Resolution


New Year’s Resolution By Laraine Newman Here we go again. This is where Magical Thinking meets Enlightened Acceptance. Here are some examples of Magical Thinking: 1.)   I’m going to lose 15 lbs. this year. 2.)  I’m going to eat right this year (less sweets and fat). 3.)  I’m going to walk the dogs more often. … [Read more…]

Make It Snappy


Make It Snappy By Laraine Newman There are certain social barriers we face throughout our lives, that when knocked down, make a big impression on us.  Especially when you’re a kid.  When I was in the 6th grade at Hawthorn Elementary School my homeroom teacher whose name escapes me, but for our purposes let’s just … [Read more…]

The Believer 2008


The Believer 2008 By Laraine Newman If you’re looking for a unique and memorable gift that keeps on giving, why not give a subscription to my favorite magazine: The Believer. This is the coolest magazine e-v-e-r! I get red in the face when I try to describe it to my friends so they’ll want to … [Read more…]

The First Puppy


The First Puppy By Laraine Newman Dear Mr. President Elect Obama, Senator Ted Kennedy, the Lion of the Senate, had the right idea.  As he convalesced on his boat in Hyannisport I saw him beckoning to his dog Splash, a Portuguese Water Dog. If you’ve never heard of this breed, they have a remarkable story. … [Read more…]

Old Town Pasadena Blues


Old Town Pasadena Blues By Laraine Newman Two times a week I have to find stuff to do for several hours in Old Town Pasadena. This is a part of Pasadena that is, well, the oldest.  If you can imagine any part of California old, this is it. Many of the ‘old money’ resides here … [Read more…]